Tuesday, July 24, 2012

My Cora is a Scrapper.

Apparently I went into a deep coma last night and got nine hours of sleep (funny, I don't remember eating an apple or getting pricked by a spindle), so I decided to take the kids to the Discovery Museum to celebrate all the energy I figured I should have today.

We started our day with meeting Clifford the Big Red Dog and the kids got to make a complete mess of themselves with paint (and my kids sure love to destroy articles of clothing with things that will likely never wash off).

So we were having a fun time. But then, everyone started to fight over toys and whine, so I knew Cora and Holden were probably getting tired and we should wrap it up soon. And then Phoenix asked me if they could just go into the room with the Clifford exhibit (which was an entire room made to look like "Birdwell Island" and included the homes and businesses of all of the characters on the show). Big mistake.

First of all, there were two BIG BOYS who, after observing them for approximately thirty seconds, immediately enraged me.

They clearly did not belong in such an exhibit for small children and were acting like complete jerk offs. And the dad was a fucktard who was doing nothing about it and letting them come thisclose to kicking little kids in the face. I wanted to smack the shit out of them.

So I told my kids to move, but my kids had just enough exposure to their jackassedness that they were noticeably irritated by it. And when we moved to another little play house, all it took was ten seconds of me looking another direction and one argument over some toys for Cora to get into a fist fight. With TWO other BIG BOYS.

My Cora is a scrapper. She's four and apparently aspires to be a boxer when she grows up. She was trying to put toy food from the Clifford restaurant into a mail box and the two boys closed in on her.

So she fucking cold cocked them both.

In the ten seconds it took for me to run across the room and grab her, she had punched one of them in the face and started dishing out body blows to the other.

I don't know whether to be mad or proud. She beat the shit out of two boys. Boys who were older than her. Bigger than her.

Of course, I told her that it was wrong and that she's not allowed to hit other children and that she has to use her words and blah, blah, blah....

But I don't think I have to worry about Cora getting picked on because she's small when she starts school.

Although now I do have to worry that her kindergarten classroom is gonna resemble the Jersey Shore house if she doesn't cut it out.

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