Tuesday, July 24, 2012

It is your job as a parent not to raise an asshole.

Disclaimer: I am venting because I was aggravated by several children who were not my children today. I love kids. I play with them all on the playground. Even if they aren't my kids, I will drink their pretend cup of tea and play monsters. But every once in a while, you come upon a kid that you just fucking hate. You can't describe it in words. Just the utter disdain that you have for this little shit, who has no frame of reference for any sort of discipline or consequence. That is how my day went....

We went to the Discovery Museum today (see "My Cora is a Scrapper" for details about how that went...) and I saw a bunch of parents really just not doing their jobs. You see, my kids are not always the best behaved kids on the planet, I get it. All kids have their moments. But when they are doing something I don't want them to be doing and I tell them to knock it off, you better believe they do it.

Because it's not your job to make sure it's super-happy-fucking-fun-time constantly, it's your job as a parent to not raise an ASSHOLE.

And when you always talk to your child in a pansy-assed hush voice and use only "nice words" to them, you, my overly-politically-correct friend, are cultivating an asshole.

I talk nicely to my kids. I say vapid things that I would never say to an adult like "touch your friends nicely" and "use your words". I explain things to them in a way that they can understand. I don't beat the shit out of them.

But when your child is being bad, just really god damn bad, sometimes he/she actually needs to be told to cut the shit.

Just say it. "CUT THE SHIT!"

Scream it!!!

Feels good and your child will learn something. That the world is not gonna put up with his bullshit and neither should you.

I saw one woman watching her two outrageously rambunctious boys, who were maybe 5 and 7. And they are boys, they're gonna be hyper and play rough. But it was the way that she spoke to them that made me want to pull their pants down and spank them myself.

"I have already asked you both
(seventeen times without punishment in the two minutes that I watched them) to play in a calm, quiet manner because there are little friends who are playing near you".

She whispered it.

They ignored her completely.

Did not even acknowledge her existence and just kept doing what they were doing.

"Please, I asked you to play in a way that we are not endangering our little friends...."

Then a minute later, "Boys could we think of a way that we could play calmly so we do not hurt our little friends?"

I wanted to turn around and ask her if she was fucking kidding. The entire time they were jumping around the room like all of the other children were hurdles.

And while we are on the topic of creating assholes, I know this will not be a popular opinion, but god damn it, sometimes your kid needs to be spanked.

You are the adult. They are the child. They get out of line sometimes.

And more than anything, these kids who are pandered to and spoken to like they have CPS on their iPhone (which they have because their parents are really laying it on), need a spanking more than any other kids. To restore the order and the damage that has been inflicted from the utter lack of guidance and discipline.

And I know, child whisperers, you are not spanking advocates. I can tell by the fact that your asshole is emptying your Starbucks into your purse. How's that working out for you?

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