Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Walk of Shame.

A little bit of context:
For those of you who don't already know me, in February we were carless and I had to walk my kids everywhere. That included walking my then five year old to and from school. Enjoy!

This morning has gotten off to a bang so far.

I put on Phoenix's shoes and jacket and Cora's shoes and jacket with no problem.

Then I put on Holden's shoes and he decides that he is absolutely not wearing a left shoe. No freaking way.

So after two minutes of trying to hold him down and shove it on, I give up and throw him in the stroller and put his other shoe on the handle.

Crap, we really gotta move it.

So we get down the stairs and get everyone on the stroller and we are only leaving ten minutes late, maybe we can make up the time. We started walking and were just around the corner when I looked down and saw that Phoenix's Ariel backpack was not on the stroller.

I let out a loud grunt and "FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!" (No, those people aren't staring at me for any particular reason, carry on) and we had to turn around, go back up the stairs and get the damned thing and go all the way back down.

NOW WE'RE TALKING. It was a challenge before, but now it's Olympic level challenge and IT'S ON!!!! WE ARE NOT GONNA BE LATE.

We started walking, then jogging, then running. We were gonna make it!

Then the pain suddenly hit me. My lack of judgment caused me to, in an effort to save time, throw on flip flops.


So I gave up and we slowed down and got to do the walk of shame as the smiling moms who all got there in time come parading back up the hill, childless.

And yes, fuckyouverymuch, I know my son is only wearing one shoe.


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