Wednesday, October 3, 2012

I just threw a kitten in the garbage.

Thanks SPCA.

While I full heartedly support your mission of taking care of animals and finding them wonderful homes, I hate you.

Because you play on the sympathy of dummies like me, who get sentimental when they see pictures of sad baby animals.

"Oh that poor, cute little puppy. He's so fluffy and sad. I wish I had extra money to help them out each month.... Maybe if I talked to Jude, we could donate $20 or something, anything to try to help out a little and do our part...."

Then the sane part of my brain kicks in, remembering that it's a marketing ploy.

Yes, the money would support animals and go to something wonderful. But the truth is, we just don't have anything to give right now. So I decide to just toss it in the garbage and move on with my day and this is what I see.

It literally looks like I threw out a kitten.

There is a giant motherfuckin' kitten, looking up at me with sad eyes all like, "Why did you throw me out?", from my garbage can.

Damn you, SPCA, for toying with my emotions. I literally just heard Sarah Mclachlan singing in my head and I feel dirty.

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