Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Odd Mom Blog out...

I'm a mom. I blog. Mostly about my kids. So I guess, technically, you can consider this a "Mom Blog".

Bbut I kind of take issue with that.

In trying to do some research (mostly spying on the millions of other "Mom Blogs" worth of competition. I'm watching you like a fapper in the bushes, ladies...), I realized that my sense of humor is pretty far off from the usual mom demographic (shout out to all my male fans!)

So, I would officially like to submit to the Jury the reasons why I do not think that my mode of ball-busting will ever qualify me for "Mom Blog of the Year".

First of all, most of the things I say about my kids, people usually don't say out loud.

I swear and I say raunchy, unapologetic things that aren't very nice things to say.

And I love my kids, but sometimes they do not very nice things.

And sometimes they deserve to be publicly ridiculed for it.

Because if I can't publicly shame my children by making them star in R-rated webcomics, what's the fun in having kids?

Second, I would rather get a groan for going too far with a joke than regurgitate old, stale humor.
No cute pictures of babies with funny captions or LOL catz here. That shit is NOT FUNNY.  It's boring. I would take a dick or fart joke any day over another "shared" baby meme.

Next, I am no parenting expert... I do not claim to be. Just the opposite actually, I fuck up. A lot. And the least that I can do is be honest about it and laugh. I don't have moments of genius to share with you people, or assume that you will glean some sort of wisdom from anything that I say. Ever. I don't have stroller suggestions for you, or know the best bottle types. I couldn't give the littlest bit of fuck about that stuff.

You see, I do this blog because as a Stay at Home Mom, my kids usually put me in some shitty situations, which require a great deal of humor and patience to get through. But I promise that I will not (ever) reminisce about warm and fuzzy feelings. There are millions of other holes just dying to tell you how to clean things in your house, or how to teach your toddler his ABCs.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm like Bob Saget.
Those other "Mom Blogs" are Full House Saget.
I'm "want to fuck your TV daughters" Saget.

Ok, maybe not that far. But you get the idea.
And I hope you guys enjoy what you read here. Cause I enjoy writing/drawing it.

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