Bones protuding from skin.
Those are MAYBE the only things that are more disgusting than snorting a bug up your nose.
As soon as I opened the door this morning to take my 6 year old to school, it shot up there like a sniper.
I'm fairly convinced the bug mafia put a hit on me for all those spiders I mildly irritated over the years with all my grandstanding, shoe throwing and shrieking.
If you are a lucky bastard and have never experienced the sheer delight of having a bug fly up your nose, allow me to describe the horror.
You see, it flies in and presumably dies in all the snot and gooeyness. Meaning, now you have a dead bug carcass stuck in your sinus cavity. But let's be me for a moment and go with the more disgusting scenario and say that it doesn't die. You have a half dead bug who might have always wanted to have children, but was way too focused on their career and is now contemplating laying it's buggy offspring in your crazy, paranoid little head. Either way, it's vile. And that's only the beginning.
On to the more disgusting question of how it gets out. Well, you know how when you're sick you sometimes get that phlegm at the back of your throat that can't be blown out, but you instead have to snort down your throat and spit out? I'm gonna let that sink in a moment..... And welcome to hell.
Yes, you blow your nose like you're trying to expel brain matter, but no bug.
Fuck, it's too far in there. It's gonna have to go out the other way.
*Snort, dry heave, snort, dry heave, repeat*
Still not coming out. So now, you have to wait for your gooey, winged nemesis to slide down further into your throat until it's palatable. You can feel the lump of bug in the back of your throat and on the verge of puking, you try, fruitlessly, to just spit this fucker out.
And end up swallowing it.
So now, I have a bug in my stomach and I'm entirely convinced that in a few weeks, end of life babies are gonna come shooting out of my nostrils.
Grossest. Shit. Ever.