Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Five things the Presidential candidates and my children have in common.

Today is election day and regardless of the issues and who you support (or who makes you want to burn effigies), it is your responsibility to get out there and vote. Have your voice be heard.

I mean, sure, the electoral college will totally be the deciding factor, regardless of who wins the popular vote, but it's still super important to stand in line and fill out your ticket.

And sure, the candidates are both pure evil and regardless of who wins, it will still mean the same policies being implemented and the rich will still get richer...

Alright, so maybe I'm a bit cynical, but hey, today marks the end of what we really care about.


So anywho... Everyone, enjoy your election day, exercise your freedoms...

And here is my contribution.

Five things the candidates and my children have in common.

1. They look really creepy when they try to force a smile.

She's a write in candidate. Vote Phoenix Terror 2012.

2. Whenever they are in charge of spending, somehow I end up broke.

Yes, we really needed those seventeen jars of peanut butter. And private jets for all our buddies.

3. They always seem to get themselves in a heap of shit.

Totally a brownie btw. Just for visual effect.

4. They are massive flip-floppers.

"Mommy, I want to be something you are gonna have to make because they don't sell it in stores for Halloween."

"Oh, you made my costume already ? I meant that I wanted to be a Disney princess."

"I want vanilla ice cream!"

"Oops, I meant chocolate. NO! Strawberry!."

"Women shouldn't be able to have abortions!"

"Abortions for everyone!"

Make up your goddamn minds already.

5. When they get riled up, they don't listen to a thing you say.

So whichever candidate you decide to vote for:

Whether it's Obama riding a Unicorn:

Or Romney-Jesus:

Just get out there today and vote!

(P.S. I stole all of these images, minus the ones of my kids off of the interwebz and do not claim ownership of them)

(P.S.S. I'm voting for Roseanne)

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